Whaaa?

Today's entry in the Who Can Write the Craziest Shit contest comes from Saul Singer, courtesy of the Washington Post (and yes, it's in a blog, but the Post featured it on the front page):

If Israel Falls, the West Follows

Jerusalem, Israel - A radical Islamic front, led by Iran and including Hezbollah, Hamas, and Al-Qaeda, is making a bid to expand its brand of theocratic rule throughout the Muslim world, with the aim of dominating the West as well. If the U.S. retreats in the face of this challenge, militant Islamism will advance. Israel may or may not be the first victim of this advance, but we will not be the last.

As the 9/11 attacks illustrated, the Islamists have tired of pretending that Israel is their only, or even primary enemy. As the Iranians put it, Israel is the "Little Satan," while the U.S. is the "Great Satan."

... This is just like those who, in the 1930s, were willing to sacrifice Czechoslovakia to Nazi Germany in an effort to buy "peace in our time." It won't work. For an Iranian-dominated Muslim world, Israel is the hors d'oevre; America and Europe are the meal.

So, how does our new contestant do? Pretty damn well, I'd say.

Let's see how he grades out:

-faulty historical analogies? A- (Iran etc. are nowhere near as powerful as Nazi Germany, nor is there any likelihood of that happening in the future, but Singer loses points for lack of originality)

-complete misunderstanding of the balance of power? A+ Let's break it down:

	United States	Iran + Pakistan + Syria
GDP	$12.3 trillion	$1.03 trillion
Military spending	$522 billion	$10.3 billion
Nuclear weapons	~10,000	~50

And that's not even including Western Europe (I left out Hamas, but their numbers would be negligible in any case).

-overly sensationalistic? B Props for the h'ors d'oevres imagery--can't you just see israel on a piece of melba toast with a sprinkling of dead sea salt? With a mullah ready to bite into Europe like a juicy hamburger? But overall, this is not nearly crazy enough. Could have been improved by:

a) discussing the terrorist plot to contaminate our precious bodily fluids through introduction of Islamic flouride into water supplies
b) claiming to have a list of 100 American diplomats who secretly pray five times a day to a picture of Osama bin Laden holding hands with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
c) at least one mention of UN black helicopters
d) finding some way to argue against gay rights while simultaneously criticizing intolerant islamists

Overall grade: A-
I don't think we have a winner yet, but this is a solid entry. Congratulations to the Washington Post for featuring this fine piece of work.